


Knick-Knack, Patty-Whack

by queuedepoisson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coming In Pants, M/M, Paddling, Painplay, Semi-Public Sex, Spanking, ruined orgasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 20:57:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queuedepoisson/pseuds/queuedepoisson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It's a bit of a thing with them, this ongoing pain… fixation.</i>
</p>
<p>Louis might have gotten the first hit off that morning but Liam doesn't want the game to stop quite yet, but what if it goes farther than it ever has before?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knick-Knack, Patty-Whack

**Author's Note:**

> So Lilo did this http://broofriends.tumblr.com/post/131112636688 and I can't be responsible for what happened.
> 
> I had high hopes that I could turn this around in 24 hours from the event, but 2 and a half weeks isn't so bad! Even if canon circumstances have already changed because RPF moves at the speed of life.
> 
> Thank you to Em for chatficcing this out, kT and Kelty for their cheers and suggestions, and Emily for cleaning up the formatting on all those m-dashes and her editing eye.
> 
> title from Pop Muzik from Priscilla Queen of the Desert, thanks Pan

When Louis enters the room that's served as hair, makeup, green room, and napping spot all day, he finds Niall bent over the couch, socked foot in the air, reaching for his phone charger. Everyone else is somewhere packing up or already on their way home. Pretty much all the press have headed out and Lottie carried out a sleeping Lux for Lou over an hour ago. There are a few PAs and PR reps wrapping up calls and renegotiating agreements, regarding segments that were cut short when they inevitably ran late, while the set dressers break down their informal living room. The security guys are getting the last remnants of the crafty table that can't be packed up while they wait on each of their charges to get their shit together.

Niall mutters to himself, slightly red faced from being arse over tit as he pulls at the cord. "Damned if I'm going to lose another one of these things." 

"Think you can afford it, mate." Louis has stepped up right behind him so as to tickle the foot so conveniently chest level before Niall kicks him off.

"You do know the fucking thing is broken, right?" Niall grouses before righting himself, charger rescued. 

"Only a small bit broken, but fine, be no fun." Louis throws himself at the couch next to him, right on top of Liam's bag, but Niall pops right back up, too fast for Louis' pinching fingers. "I'm sorry, alright?"

"I only accept apologies accompanied by pints," Niall shoots back as he hops off to find his boot. He reaches the door right as Liam is entering so they share a quick hug goodbye. Louis starts to push himself up but Liam pushes him back down with a little shove. He doesn't know why, but he can hang out a bit longer if Liam is.

"He's quite agile on one foot, isn't he?"

"Guess going to physio and training every day paid off, who woulda thought?" Liam hasn't sat next to him but is trying to pull his bag out from under Louis, which just makes him throw his weight down on it more. "Maybe if you put this much effort into training, we wouldn't have had our arses handed to us at the ping pong table."

Grunting in dissatisfaction at their admittedly poor performance, Louis rolls off the bag. "Sorry, more of a billiards man meself. What do you have in there anyway?" Something had been jutting right into his back and he rubs at the sore spot.

"Got a surprise to show you." Liam has laughter in his eyes and mischief in his smile. "C'mere and close your eyes."

Louis stands up but refuses to closes his eyes. "Now I'm not sure I want to know. Wouldn't be fair to dump anything on me after everyone's cleaned up." He can always apply this logic to pranks that aren't his.

"Fine, fine." Liam manages to yoink whatever it is out of his bag fast enough that he's popped Louis in the chest with it, directly on his left nipple, and spun around behind him before he can see it. Louis spins too to see one of the ping pong paddles from their bit at the Spotify offices in Liam's hand.

"You sneaky bastard!" Louis yells, hand pressed against the pained nipple. It's only a little throbbing.

"Well, how else was I gonna get you back for that? Hurt, you know. This way it's fair, although really, still not fair since you've a jumper on when I only had a shirt. Maybe two would be fair." Liam reaches out to smack Louis again as he ineffectively tries to swat at it.

"If you're gonna do it, at least go for the right side. Even it out, like." Louis puts his arms down and gamely takes his smack, harder this time now that Liam can properly aim. He only doubles over a little from it, but more importantly, he's able to grab Liam's wrist in the process and steal the paddle. Liam doesn't seem upset about it, considering the massive fit of giggles. 

They end up in a strange tackle hug as Louis keeps his hold on Liam's wrist and wraps the other arm around Liam so he can get his bottom a few good times. Liam is still laughing, so Louis releases him and turns so he can manage one hit that's quite hard, enough to make Liam jump like the others hadn't.

They've been at this too long if Liam is starting get so obviously desensitized. It's a bit of a thing with them, this ongoing pain… fixation. It's just another one of their many things, and this one has always carried a little spike of arousal for both of them, but it's been steadily picking up. Ever since Louis became single and Sophia joined them for most of tour, there didn't seem to be a reason to stop. They'd even become a bit more obvious about the fact it was a turn-on, but it seemed safe since it always done in a group, with an audience to keep it a joke, whether it be the crowd at shows or mates at parties, just another weird Louis and Liam _thing_. If Sophia had a problem with it, she wasn't showing it, it almost always going on right in front of her. The opposite, in fact, making jokes about the amazing sex that followed, and none of the girls Louis was partying with stuck around long enough to care why he got stiff from wrestling with his best mate.

But they're alone right now, with no Sophia to drag an embarrassed Liam off to the bedroom, and Louis isn't sure how that changes things. Louis is just buzzing now, the ache in his chest staying there for the time being, rather than moving to his dick, but it has in the past and could now. He can't tell from where he is standing behind him if the pain is affecting Liam's dick yet. Either way, it's too tempting to smack Liam's bottom again as he's bent over, hands on the sofa arm, trying to catch his breath.

Turns out it was all a set-up, since Liam is prepared and goes right for Louis' waist with a triumphant "Ha!" Liam doesn't even bother with getting the paddle out of Louis' hand until Louis is already bent over his lap with a face full of old pleather couch. Louis releases his hold on it without much of a fight but immediately regrets it when Liam teases, "Now if we were going to do this properly, have to have you pull your trousers down and make you take it in just your pants."

"What part of that is fair?" Louis shrieks, trying to wrestle his cool back under control to a joke. It's all good as long as it's a joke. "I didn't do it to you like that, didn't even get proper aim til the last one and then you messed me up."

"I just meant, like as a kid, when you'd get smacked – oh, nevermind, let's just – OK, how's this? If you manage to get me into the same position, I'll pull my trousers down – "

"Oh _really_? _That's_ what it'll make it fair?" Louis is certain his face is red from the position, but as his laughter gets a bit more hysterical, he can feel the heat rising in his ears. He immediately starts trying to throw his weight to knock Liam over, but Liam grabs his waist tight with purpose and he stills.

"Only _after_ you've taken your hits though. Besides, it'd still be fair since you've got all this natural padding – " Liam tugs at Louis' waistband, already slipped halfway down his bum even without any particular effort, to emphasize his point before Louis interrupts.

"Something you're sorely lacking in."

Liam lands a hit smartly to Louis' right bum cheek to shut his smart mouth, and a second lands right after. It's sharp, knocking the breath from Louis' chest, and something shakes loose in his head that leaves him unable to react, frozen. Two more come. They seem softer, or maybe Louis can't feel them as clearly, but Liam stops after that.

Louis isn't sure if it wasn't until the first hit that his dick perked up or if it started before, maybe just from the rough way Liam pulled him on to his lap, but he's hard now and it's right against Liam's thigh. Maybe that's why Liam stopped, he worries, but Liam is lightly jostling his waist and talking softly.

"Ready to take your chances on that wrestle?" he asks weakly.

Louis almost bites a hole through his lip before he answers, muttering, "Do it again."

"What?"

He forces his voice to be stronger, light, casual. "You gave up on that last one, I think."

"Did not," Liam argues. "I just didn't know if you wanted – " Louis squeezes his eyes shut because he doesn't want to think about what he wanted.

"If you think that's anywhere near as hard as I hit you, you obviously really have been slacking on the gym. Dead lazy now that we're home – "

It wasn't the nicest thing to tease Liam on, but he hits Louis harder than ever. Louis gasps with the satisfaction of it. "See, got much better chances on flipping you when you're distracted. Best you keep going."

When nothing happens, Louis reaches back to Liam's waist, feeling his abs tense under his grip. It's just Liam preparing for Louis' counterattack, he tells himself. He's the one who taught Liam to always be ready, kept him on his toes. He wraps his other hand around Liam's ankle and braces himself for it, fingers digging in as he hopes, prays Liam will follow through, won't leave him hanging like this with nothing but a feeble joke that stopped being funny minutes ago. His cock is so tight in his jeans that his pants stretch across the head, pushing back the skin and leaving him sensitive.

Louis is listening to every sound so carefully as he stays there, muscles taut, and he swears he can hear Liam spin the paddle in his hand nervously, but he doesn't dare look back, look Liam in the eye, and it's good that he doesn't because half a second later, he definitely can hear the whistle of air before the thud of the paddle. There's a delay to the pain spreading through him and Louis instead concentrates on how Liam's thigh under him jumps with it.

"You enjoying this?" Louis can feel more than hear the breath Liam sucks in and then lets out raggedly. He so desperately wants to know he's not alone in this moment but it's too scary waiting for an answer when it doesn't come, nor another smack. "Would make sense. It's for that punch, isn't it?" Louis can feel Liam relaxing with the banter. That's all they need. "Was just a love tap, Liam, thought you could take it."

"Love tap, now was it?" Liam sounds incredulous in a joking manner. Louis can hear the smile in it. "Thought you said it was an accident, but now you finally admit it? You try to pop me one, just makes sense to pop you in return."

Liam does, the paddle bouncing off Louis' bum, and even through the layers of fabric protecting him, the lighter hit jostles him in a way that makes all of the heat building in his skin from blow after blow suddenly shake through him. Louis laughs and moans at the same time.

"I'm not admitting to anything." Louis' voice cracks, but he has to keep the banter going, if this is what Liam needs to keep the spanking going. "Okay, I'll admit to one small teensy thing." Liam rests the paddle on his bum waiting for the answer, and even that causes Louis' thighs to shake.

"The ruined phone. I am maybe, _possibly_ , at least fifty percent responsible for that." He has to pause between the words, speech getting more and more difficult, mouth dry, staying silent for fear that the alternative is another moan, louder, dirtier. Thankfully, Liam's found the confidence somewhere, maybe even in the wet spot Louis is convinced has gone through his pants and jeans and maybe through Liam's too, to keep going for the both of them.

"Fifty." Smack. "Percent." Smack. Liam punctuates each word with a hit, coming down faster now. "Fifty – fucking – percent." Shit, Louis is getting more than hard, more than leaking, he's getting close. It's impossible for Louis to determine whether Liam's hard against his stomach when he can't get his breathing to stop panting, stomach rising and falling dramatically.

"Liam, I think – "

"I had pictures – on that phone – and _you're_ the one saying – 'Never upload anything.'" Tears are beading at Louis' eyelids and he clenches them tight to stop them but instead they roll over and down his cheeks. He tries to explain his body's sudden desperation, that it's the accumulation of it, the way Liam holds him so closely pressed against him, Liam's laughter rolling through his body and into Louis' through Liam's bouncing thighs –

Louis realizes almost too late. He pushes off Liam, who rucks his jumper up before he quite realizes what's going on and lets Louis loose. Louis presses his hand against himself, kneeling on the carpet in front of Liam, to try and hold off, but it's no use and instead, the pressure sends him over the edge. _Shit shit shit shit._ His eyes are so tightly shut, Liam could have left the room and he wouldn't have been able to tell.

Ripping his hand away means he wants to double over when the pulses of come start, so he tries to press the heel of his hand down even harder. He can feel the wetness against his palm, but it doesn't feel good. It feels full of terror, even when he lightens the pressure, even when he bucks up against his hand to try and get something like a real orgasm from it. It's ruined and yet he still feels wrecked, empty, spent.

When Louis opens his eyes, Liam is sitting there still. With his jumper up at his elbows, there's no way what happened wasn't obvious, the way the tremors are still going through his arms and legs. Louis looks long enough to see Liam's slack jaw and wide eyes before staring resolutely at the floor, remembering the tear tracks down his cheeks, dark wet lines cutting through the powder still on his face, as damning evidence as the rest of it.

"Louis – " Liam starts, but doesn't get any further before Louis desperately tries to stop whatever Liam thinks will fix this, because it won't.

"Wouldn't have asked you to do anything about it, you know, because of like, you know." Girlfriends was a start. That as much as they shared a sex thing, it wasn't a shared sex thing and this was a line he hadn't meant to cross.. "Would have just run off to the toilet, most like. Didn't really think I'd nut off in my pants like – "

"Louis."

"Best go to the toilet now, actually." All he needs is a second alone to think of something, a way to turn it, and it'll be fine. Instead, Liam reaches out for Louis' wrist to keep him there and pulls him a little closer, forcing him to face him. Louis tries to push him off but his heart isn't in it and Liam grabs his other wrist too. Louis is still staring down, which means directly at the crotch of Liam's pants instead of the carpet now. Liam's jeans are tented out, comically so, and Louis chuckles but it sounds more like a sob, finally looking up at Liam's face. "Fuck, is she gonna be mad? It was just a laugh, right? A prank that got out of hand and – "

"I'm not that worried about that part." Liam's face is so open, no panic, no judgement. Shaken maybe, but not disturbed really. Maybe a little flushed. "Like, we've joked about it. But I've always thought she might have been bit more serious than a joke."

"Well, should take that home to her," Louis suggests, gesturing to the paddle abandoned on the couch cushion as best he can with his wrists still bound in Liam's grip, "just in case she is."

Liam drops his hands holding Louis and crumples into hysterical laughter. "How the hell am I even gonna make it to the car like this?" he yelps, waving his hands in front of his still glaringly evident erection.

"Don't you have that hat somewhere around here?" Louis has still got jizz covered pants, not to mention a sore as hell arse, but he cares a lot less now that Liam is folded over onto the couch laughing and Louis is clapping him on the shoulder. It's not weird. They got through Louis nearly coming on Liam with minimal weirdness. It's honestly weird as fuck but it fits right in with the rest of their weird shit.

Louis pushes Liam's shoulder farther down into the couch to support himself as he stands up. The walk to the toilet is an uncomfortable waddle, but he's able to manage well enough with damp paper towels, wiping everything up, from the sweat soaking his hair to the tear tracks on his cheeks to the sticky mess that's spread from his front down his thighs. Fortunately, black jeggings hide wet spots well and he was sure he had an even baggier jumper somewhere around or could lift one of the racks if they weren't gone already. He's drying his hands when he hears a staffer enter the room. He has no idea what state Liam is in now so he stays hidden.

"We're getting ready to let cleaning come through, so if you're finished?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Liam answers.

"Did you lift that from the Spotify office? Cheeky, you." She giggles and Louis thinks he recognizes the voice now, a T-name. The coast sounds clear enough to announce himself.

"Really, Liam. There's some lads that are going to be very sad when they go to play their next break room tourney." He adds a tsk and a shake of his head at the end to lay it on thick.

"Just wanted a souvenir," Liam mumbles, sounding like a kicked puppy but biting his lip at the same time. Louis stares him down because he knows it's covering up a laugh.

The staffer falls for the guilt trip though and it's probably in her job description to head off pop stars throwing tantrums so she placates him by saying, "I'm sure we can send then some new ones and you can keep your souvenir."

"Thank you, Teresa." Her name comes to Louis from nowhere, slipping off his tongue smoothly. He's on a roll with sounding like the responsible one, quickly recovering from debilitating embarrassment like some kind of survival skill. "We're on our way out. Is there still water to make a takeaway cup of tea?"

"I'll go check."

"Thanks so much, love. Just a minute, promise." She heads out and Liam finally lets out his laugh.

"Can't believe you got caught." Liam stands up from the couch, continuing to hold his bag strategically at his waist, while Louis admonishes him. "Amateur."

"You know, I thought you'd be proud of me sneaking something. At least that's all we got caught for." Liam raises his eyebrows as he motions towards the door. "Was unlocked that whole time."

Louis thinks of it, of how even if they'd wrestled to the floor, as soon as they stood up, neither one of them would have been able to hide the effect their playing had on both of them. And this time there was no party, no alcohol to blame, no laughing audience of fans or friends. He scrubs his hands at his hair, happy to finally mess it up for himself after a day of fussing, and shakes the panic away, because that's not what happened. He still isn't sure what happened or what would come from it, but for right now, things were the same as they'd always been.

"Best give me more warning next time then." Louis heaves his own bag over his shoulder and goes for a quick pinch at Liam's nipple.

Liam's face goes cloudy for a second but he answers, "Next time, yeah," and shoves the paddle in his bag.


End file.
